Kitchen opening
We open in a transparently natural, ordinary domestic kitchen environment, detailed by a gently ticking clock, boiling kettle and the soft sounds of glassware and cutlery moving. Human activity. We move toward a radio, and it has a dated 1950’s quality, further alluding to the environment. Like traveling through a resonant tube, we enter the radio and are transported through an indeterminate, textural transitory realm with much motion. We emerge on the other side in the radio station studio, where two hosts are running a call-in show.
Ohio train derailment conspiracy theorist
The first, politically charged caller:
Host: We have a caller who wants to share his experiences in the aftermath of the recent Ohio train derailment and the subsequent residential evacuation. Hello, you’re on the air. What’s on your mind?
Caller: Hey this is Charlie, calling from East Palestine, Ohio. My girlfriend and I were evacuated from our apartment because of the train crash and chemical spill in our town. I’m- actually, we’re staying with my parents in Akron.
Host: Thank you for sharing, Charlie. How are things looking back in town now, a few days into this disaster? What have you heard from the community?
Caller: It’s been rough. The clean-up is, um, it’s ongoing, and there’s still a lot of concern about the environmental uh aspect and our safety moving forward.
Host: It’s understandable that there would be lingering worries. How do you feel that the emergency response to the situation has been?
Caller: Well, uh, it’s been a mixed bag. They have been trying to deal with the immediate aftermath, but I really feel like more could be done in terms of long-term support and ensuring our community’s well-being.
Host: That’s a valid point, Charlie. It’s important for communities to receive adequate assistance during times of crisis. Have you had any notable figures or officials visiting or offering support to East Palestine?
Caller: Actually, that’s where things get frustrating. While we’re dealing with this, Biden has been visiting Ukraine instead of focusing on what has happened right here in our town. We’re being overlooked and we’re fighting for more visibility and assistance, to see our leaders actively, uh addressing our needs and concerns.
Host: Of course, yeah. In an emergency, it’s crucial for communities to feel supported and heard by their leaders. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us today.
Caller: And you know what else worries me? I’ve been uh following the news closely, and the other things that have been going on these last few days. I saw what Aaron Rodgers was saying on Twitter, all we’ve been hearing is unidentified objects shot down, weather balloons shot down. And suddenly no one wants to hear from us anymore. They don’t want us to talk about railway industry lobbying or uh safety regulations, or uh Epstein’s client list coming out either.
Host: That’s a big claim, Charlie. There’s still a lot going on, and there’s confusion and uncertainty. But-
Jaxx (Host from the Future)*
Host: And welcome back listeners, we have a caller on the line, hello! How’s your afternoon going? You’re live on the air and what’s your name?
Caller: Hey, how’s it going, I’m- you know, err… It’s- feeling a bit rough, you know, got laud off from my job, err… it’s good day, I love listening to your show, and it really brightens my day, you know?
Host: Sorry to hear you got laid off there, they probably didn’t deserve you anyway! (laughter) But now you’ve got more free time, any exciting plans for the weekend?
Caller: For the weekend, no, keeping it pretty chill, um… seeing some lawyer-seeing some friends, just relaxing, watching some TV, watching some Gogglebox, doing some gardening as well with the missus, just keeping everything really chill, you know?
Host: Well, that sure does sound like the perfect weekend to me! What tunes can we play you to make it even better?
Caller: Ah, you know, something to get me really hyped up and in the mood, get me through the weekend and push me into next week, a bit of Imagine Dragons, you know, 1975, something with a bit of kick, you know?
Host: Well I think I’ve got the perfect thing for you coming just around the corner! But, while I’ve still got you here, have- have we met somewhere? Have I got a twin I didn’t know about because you sound really similar to me?
Caller: This is going to sound crazy Jaxx, but I’m you, I am you from the future, they can recall deleted images Jaxx! You need to destroy them, you need to destroy that hard drive, you need this job!
Alien caller
Having pivoted to a somewhat shady advice and problem-solving segment of the call-in show, the host’s tone of conversation is perceptibly lighter and less formal. They introduce a caller:
Host: Hello caller, you’re live and anonymous on DTF Radio Network, don’t say anything I wouldn’t say! What’s got you down on this beautiful evening, or afternoon, or morning. Wherever you are. Where are you caller, speak up! Is he-
Alien: Hey guys, hey. Can you hear me? I’m in my truck right now, so the signal’s not gonna be too, y’know, perfect or anything, but… Yeah, I just wanted to say I’m big fans of you guys, I listen to you on the road all the time.
Host: That’s appreciated caller-
Alien: What could be better than being on DTFRN? Sorry, I’m just excited about appearing on the show finally. I like to observe human nature.
Host: Ok, thanks, you’re sounding a little muffled, is your connection good?
Alien: Yeah, yeah. This is the first call I’m making using these Airpods, and I don’t really know how they work, so if it sounds, y’know, like I’m underwater or whatever, y’know- forgive me.
Host: What, are you sitting on them? Um, let’s move this along, we’ve got a lot to get to, what’s on your mind?
Alien: Yeah- I am seeking advisement.
Host: Advisement, ok… Do you need us to call someone?
Alien: I have a girlfriend and in recent times we have argued. Argued about what a state the house is in.
Host: Well, help out cleaning once in a while and everything will be good, okay?
Alien: Arguments increase in frequency as the house in turn gets smaller.
Host 1: Ok, let’s wrap this one up. Good talking to you, Mr. trucker.
Alien: What could be better than being on DTFRN? Sorry, I’m just excited about appearing on the show finally. I like to observe human nature. ‘K, bye.
We transition to the invisible bridge of electrons stretching out into space, reaching the alien. We exist for a while with him in an indeterminate realm, floating weightless as he scans the frequencies and learns about the human condition. Comprised of a collage of broadcast feedback culminating with:
Archival radio montage (fluid order, threaded throughout):
-Theo Von long-distance relationship (between conspiracy caller and alien)
-Howard Stern serial killer
-Rush Limbaugh veteran anti-torture
-Deer crossing sign removal
-101.5 tax cuts F you
Granular content overloading
This meld of sampled content and sound/noise/music builds to an overwhelming crescendo before abruptly ending.
*note: while improvised during recording, this sequence has been dictated here for continuity and reference